“It’s a strange thing that as I develop my business, I develop myself. I’ve grown so much in the last few months, that I have at last been able to reflect on my past with some kind of clarity and understanding. As to why I have made certain choices, throughout my life, good and bad, and bloody hell have there been some whoopers! Nope, I’m not sharing them here, well not today.
However, as I grow into my own skin and try to own my life and lessons, I realise that a lot of the choices that I have made throughout these 47 years have been impacted by my childhood experiences and the people within it.
I made it through a very bohemiam upbringing fairly unscathed, or so I thought. I left home at a young age, supported myself, I had a great fun job, didn’t become a raving drunk, didn’t end up in prison, bought a home, brought up two wonderful children. I thought I was winning the race. Then, cracks started to appear in the veneer that I had encased myself in. So I was forced, over the last few years, to delve deep into myself and my feelings and ask, Why? Why this, why that and just flipping WHY? Let me tell you, that’s one mad question, that really opens one massive can of worms.
So if I had managed so well over the years, why was I a nervous, unconfident mess. I was scared of every thing, even answering the phone….come on, I hear you say. As I started to challenge my behaviour and the position that I found myself in, I realised that so much hinged on my feelings about my childhood and let me tell you, some totally stupid beliefs that I had been carrying in a backpack all these years.
So, my choices throughout these years have been directed by the fact that growing up I developed absolutely NO self-worth, in fact I have always believed that I was below EVERYONE. I have allowed people, family, friends, men and women alike, to manipulate, use and abuse me and I have still thought that I was either to blame or was imagining the wrong doing. However as I realise that I am here for a purpose, that I am special, that I have some fabulous gifts to give. I know that all those beliefs from childhood are not true and no longer serve me. Ok, let me be truthful, I’m still a work in process and self discovery and growth is a lifetime job but I will not allow myself to be treated less than I deserve again, at least knowingly.
I can’t stress enough the importance of encouraging self worth in the younger generation of women and girls. This truly will make a difference in their lives, our local communities and the whole world. So whether you are a mother, aunt, sister, teacher or neighbour seek out ways to build up that younger women standing before you. If I had realise as a young women that I could have a choice concerning my present and future, that I deserve all the greatness that I could have imagined, my choices would have been a whole world away from what I chose to put up with.
Allow girls to believe that their dreams are achievable, that their desires are worthy, that they are worthy of better, of more. They will then strive to reach for the stars and fulfil their potential.
I was lucky to have one women in my childhood who help me see that the sitution that I was in was not permanent and that there was goodness in the world. I chose not to follow the examples that were around me daily. I chose and dreamt of what I now have, a family and a ‘normal’ life. OK, what the heck is normal?
So if I can inspire you to be that one women that makes a difference, not just to your daughter or family members but to that young girl, with jumble sale clothes and a drunk for a mother, also. Please take the time to help the younger generation and we may have a lot less women waiting until they are 47 to shine their star, it’s your responsibility. Don’t say you are a feminist or pro women, if you don’t build up all other women.
I’ve been lucky enough to receive some fabulous counselling from the local Rubicon Centre, which helped me see that I should be proud of all that I’ve achieved in spite of my beginnings, not be ashamed of my start in life. For anyone needing guidance, I highly recommend Rubicon.
If you are looking for some inspiring reading to help you and your daughter navigate those important but tricky teenage years, a time where some real self worth work needs implementing, this book is a total must….
I’m so aware that within the environment that I work that promoting a positive image is so important for all the females that I work with but particularly the younger generation. Empowering the youth to embrace themselves as their are, highlighting all their positive vibes and celebrating who they are and what they love. Encouraging them to believe that…
“To stand out is to be true to yourself”
And that’s totally ok.
May we all be the women that we needed as girls!
Sending you all beautiful May sunshine,
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